Women to Avoid
I’m writing for The Indie Chicks, who for all our independence, shout out for the supportive and genuinely special friendships that develop between like-minded women. It’s such a shame then that I feel the need to write a post like this but truth be known, there’s a whole heap of different kinds of women out there and not all of them are nice. Or (whispers) entirely sane.
You’d have thought what with bra burning struggles for equality and independence, us chicks would all stick together.
I believe in being nice. I believe in “if you’re nice to me, I’m nice to you”. I read Kat’s post “A Chicks Guide to Being Friends With Other Chicks” and thought “right on sista!”
So I feel bad about writing this post, like I’m being disloyal or bitchy in some way.
That said, in my experience, the following women we could all do best to avoid;
The Competitive Woman
For some reason, this woman sees all other women as her opposition. She’s your friend. That is, as long as she feels being your friend means she can keep an eye on you and ensure you don’t better her in anyway.
She wants what you have, only better. Treat yourself to a nice new outfit? She’s off to buy the same or one better. New fella in your sights? She wants him. Good Promotion going at work? Watch out, she’ll support you but apply for herself behind your back. Your wedding day? Expect her to break all the rules and try and outshine you.
Much too much like hard work trying to befriend a girl like this, you’ll find yourself competing and fighting all the time whether you want to or not.
The Insecure Woman
Heaven help you if you know one of these. If you do, then you already know the struggle of dealing with the constant battle for ‘top’ attention whenever a man is in the room.
A SINGLE version of this woman is the worst scenario, she’s looking for every guy she comes across to restore her confidence by finding her the most attractive and she’ll flirt mercilessly and thoughtlessly to achieve it.
She’ll flirt with your male friends and colleagues, your brothers. Even your Dad!
She’ll flirt with YOUR man. She doesn’t want him you understand, in fact if he’s daft or dishonest enough to follow her flirting, she’ll shout him out and happily tell you “He made a pass at me!!”
She just wants to feel that she’s more attractive than you, able to take him if she chose to. She’ll try to manipulate ‘secrets’ or ‘something special’ between them that you’re not a part of. And then a couple of “Oh, didn’t he mention it?” or “Oh, I thought you knew …” and your heads reeling with the possibility that something’s going on.
Who needs that?!
The Innocent, Sweet Woman
She’s a sweetie, a darling really. Soft, gentle, vulnerable even. “Women to Avoid”? You sure? You may befriend her because you feel for her, she needs some help, needs a strong female pal. She’ll just get taken advantage of in life otherwise, poor thing.
Only her sweetness is just an act. Someone, somewhere taught her that “sweetness is attractive” and she uses it to get what she wants. Lots of attention usually.
Problem with someone who’s always trying to be sweet, the pressure takes it strain. You’d better run if the façade ever drops or if you intend on blowing her cover and the real deal comes out.
The Demanding Woman
I can’t imagine anyone could expect a relationship to be all about them, yet this girl does. A very high-maintenance person to befriend, so demanding is she of your time and, well, all of you really!
She’s the one who borrows your new shoes and breaks the heels. Treats your cash like an extension of hers but never pays you back. Calls you at 3 a.m. to come pick her up from somewhere. That’s assuming you got out of being out with her in the first place, she generally likes you ‘at hand’ in case she needs anything.
And saying “No” is harder than telling someone you ran over their puppy. Your devotion, your very friendship will be questioned. Followed by tears and tantrums if you’re still not complying.
Run away …
The Fake BFF Woman
She’ll be your most loyal friend, your most ardent admirer and champion. Your biggest fan. But doesn’t it feel a little sycophantic? A bit much? You’re not that awesome, really.
You’re right to doubt it, because underneath all that admiration and loyal friendship is a whole bundle of fakery. You may not find out what this girl is actually about until much further down the line, but she is your friend in an unreal way.
It’s not a natural friendship, it doesn’t feel quite … I wanna lean over and just poke you sometimes, are you for real? You’re not really sure who this friend is? Watch out.
I wonder if I offended anyone? Hope not. I wonder if I missed any Women to Avoid out?!